What is so hard about saying No?
Saying no is considered mean and harsh because it can create rifts in the relationships with people around us, be it be in the personal and professional spectrum. Second, if we wish to work with the person in the future then we would want to have a good contact with the person and saying ‘No’ jeopardize the entire process.
What should be done to avoid conflicts while saying No?
However, spitting out a No for something you aren’t too confident about or comfortable with is not that hard. All you need to do is spare yourself some time to follow these simple tricks of gently saying No without feeling guilty:-
- Know your priorities: Be true to yourself, your convictions and priorities. Good things happen to you when you set your priorities straight in life. Even if we have free time in our hands, we would want to spend the time doing something for ourselves or for our families. Most of us spend too much of our valuable time on what is urgent and not enough time on what is important. The most important thing in life is knowing the most important things in life. So let us begin by saying Yes to all the important things in life and No to everything that does not matter to us.
- Stop being always nice: Don’t be a people pleaser. It is important to be polite, but if we try to be nice to everyone, we are going to be frustrated, miserable and unhappy at the end of the day. When we make it easy for people to grab our time, they will persist to do so. It is important to be firm and say No to many of their requests as much as possible.
- Don’t apologize: A common way to start out saying No is “I’m sorry but …” as it is a perception that this sounds more gentle. Never apologize for saying No. While politeness is important, apologizing just makes it sound weaker. We need to be firm and unapologetic about valuing our time and saying No to others.
- Respond later, don’t hurry: Take some time to consider saying No. It is sensible to tell the person that you will give their request some consideration and get back to them in a while. This will enable you to give it some thought, check your commitments and priorities, and then decide whether to get back to the person. Later, if you couldn’t accommodate the request, simply tell them “After giving it some thought, I won’t be able to proceed with the request”. At least you gave it some considerations.
- Keep your responses simple: Do not beat around the bush. If you want to say No, be firm and direct. Use phrases such as “Thanks for considering me but I’m afraid I won’t be able to help you”. Or “it’s not convenient right now”. Try to be firm and strong in your body language and don’t over-apologize. Remember, it is not a sin to say No.
- Be true to yourself: Love yourself. You are the most important person in your life. Be true to yourself; be true to your conscience. Know what you want for yourself. Introspect what your dreams are and strive towards it accordingly.
The Way Forward
To stay productive, agile and minimize unnecessary stress in our lives, saying No is very important. When we understand that saying No means we are staying true to our priorities and convictions, your life becomes much simpler, beautiful and uncomplicated.